Time for an update!

I have little to report on the health front.  Hot and humid weather causes me significant breathing issues, so I try to stay inside as much as possible.  Unfortunately, inside usually means sedentary at the computer for a gross (as in disgusting) amount of hours.  I'm in the middle of a reading ebb.  Not doing as much as I have been.  It's just too stinkin' hot.  I've been sitting in my room, enjoying my fan & my Scentsy flameless scented candles and collecting dust.  I do have a cat to entertain me, so here's what Zoe's been up to lately.

Pog-rich.  Yes, pogs ... I can't believe I still had (had, being the key word, as they went directly in the trash following this photo) these tucked away somewhere.  This photo taken in the style of Stuff On My Cat.  

Chasing her tail in a her new bukkit.

Harassing Skitter.

Annoyed that her scratching post has become my Helios resting station.

Found a bubble wrap bed.

Actually it looks more like a coffin.

Tuckered out.  Getting into so many things is exhausting when you're little.  

Hopefully this week will bring a call.  I'm very, very ready to get some new hardware installed.  My good friend, Cystic Gal got her lungs on Tuesday!!!  I got a text from her yesterday and SHE CAN BREATHE!  I'm so happy for her!  I'll leave you with one last photo of me, sporting my Cystic Gal t-shirt!  

Morbidly Pleasant

I'm sitting in my room, facing my computer.

To my right is a window.

I open it and let in all the southern light that I can.

Zoe seems to find joy in early morning sunlight, and I do, too.

     It's a recent discovery for me - before I wanted the shades drawn, isolating myself inside my man-made cocoon of artificial lighting, creating my own solstices, deciding when daylight ends or begins.

All the rest of my life is based on artificial supplements: my oxygen, my digestive enzymes, my bacteria fighting abilities, even the ability to effectively cough has been assigned to a machine.  Why not shut out the sun?  It will probably give me skin cancer one day anyway.  But why, then, does it make me so happy?  When the day is new and I'm resting in between the cool sheets, my body still hot from sleep, I feel energized, motivated; I feel "normal".  And then I roll over, that familiar urge to cough strikes without warning and I shoot up into "cougher stance".  I reach for the kleenex to spit and drop it into my bedside trash can.  I have everything I need within reach.  I hate that my life has come to this point, being so medically handicapped, that I have to alter my living environment to accommodate the necessities.  The nice thing is, once I'm thoroughly exhausted after doing my morning treatments, I can sometimes crawl back into bed and pick up where I left off sleeping or reading, with a napping buddy at my hip.

It's just morbidly pleasant.   

Cupcake Disaster

Disclaimer: No one was harmed in the making of these baked "goods", but our egos were slightly damaged.

Several weeks back I was in Barnes & Noble collecting as many books as I could carry and I picked up this little book of cupcake recipes - a purely impulsive purchase.

Anyway, when I got home, as I flipped through all (okay there were only 26) the recipes, I had fantasies of becoming the cupcake lady, baking delicious, decorative treats for everyone I know, going into business and acquiring fame and fortune, all because of a bargain book I grabbed on a whim. Famous and important people would be BBMing me their orders and twittering about my amazing cupcakes......

...sorry, I'm back.

Reality: Today I had the idea I would bake some cupcakes (maybe 12 to start) and take them with me tonight when I headed out.  I grabbed my book and passed my dad's study on the way downstairs, "I'm going to make cupcakes."

"Do you want some help?"

"Yeah, could you come show me how to turn on the oven?" (I'm serious about this part, we had a conversation yesterday about the fact that I didn't know how to operate the folks' new fancy stove, which we have had longer than the 10 months I have been back living with them.)

"No, but I'll show you how."

As the oven preheats, we're taking turns with the electric mixer trying to get the god damn eggs and sugar to become fluffy.  We already quarreled about the size of the eggs, the recipe called for large and we had jumbo.  Dad (chemist that he is) said the egg to sugar ratio was too high.  I said it was fine and continued mixing.

Cut to 45 minutes later, we're still cleaning up glass shards and jam residue from the floor.  Dad had one of those dropsy days... when no amount of moisturizer can cure the dry, slippery finger tips.  After sweeping, vacuuming, 409ing and swiffer wet mopping, we get back to the business of these damn cupcakes, which we have, by now, lost all motivation in baking.

After combing all the ingredients and looking at all the muffin tins we have to fill with this piddly amount of batter, we go ahead and continue following the directions, suspending disbelief for the time being. "They'll fluff up in the oven"...

Rationing batter is hard enough as it is, but doing so when you have to save half to fill on top of a dollop of jam is just ridiculous.  We split the batter in two and got to filling.  I'm at 18 and out of batter, yet each cup that has batter doesn't even have enough to cover the bottom of the freaking cup.  Just follow the f*cking directions.  Dollop of jam, done... top half of batter, also done.  We even had enough to make 4 more whole "cupcakes" bringing the grand total to 22, two shy of the recipe's indication.

Popped those suckers in the oven for 15 minutes and hoped for the best.

I took this opportunity to satisfy Zoe's incessant need to go outside and sit motionless in the yard.  I wrestled her into her walking jacket and we headed out on the leash (more about this genius idea another time).  We make the rounds, she eats some grass and then sits under a tree for 5 minutes.  I finally started walking up to her to bring her in and spotted half of a robin's egg nearby.  I picked it up (yes, birds are disgusting and I washed my hands thoroughly afterward) and was going to carry it inside to show Dad (what else was I going to do, leave it there and mention it to no one?)  I was so excited that I stepped on Zoe's leash as I went down to pick her up and it jerked my arms as I came back up.... *crunch* Stupid egg - it was so fragile! I brought the cat back in and threw the remnants of the egg on the outdoor table.

Time to check the cupcakes!

Well.. they're certainly small.  But good things come in small packages, right? I was too excited to try one to wait for them to cool... or to bother dusting with powdered sugar.  I managed to get it out of the paper in almost one piece, but the jam was adhered to the bottom, which was, uh, chewy.  Not a word I want to describe a cupcake I'm about to consume.  It was terrible.  The jam had dried up and the cake portion was so dry I nearly choked.  Dad said it was like corn bread, with a little jam on top (that is after you scraped it off the paper, if you even bothered).  It was so little, I couldn't even call it a muffin... it was more of a dry, puffy cookie in a big paper bowl.  I should have been suspicious when the book was marked down to $6.

So needless to say, I'm not bringing delightful cupcakes to anyone tonight.

Zoe has good taste in shoes

back in business

It's been a busy week! My dad and I drove back to Omaha on Sunday to see my doctors. Visited the chiropractor, of course, too. Only news is that my lungs are the same as they were a month ago, which is GOOD! We came home on Tuesday. Zoe missed me - she and Skitter (the beast, my 15 year old cat) have yet to be friends. When Skitter sees Zoe, she growls, hisses and sometimes throws up if she's really pissed. Of course she also attacks any human who approaches her in this state, so we all just stand clear until she hobbles upstairs to sulk. Poor thing! I just hope she lives long enough to become friends, which Zoe so desperately wants to make.

On Wednesday I got a pedicure and bought a ton of books at Barnes & Noble. On Thursday I got my nails done and a hot stone massage. It was a fantastic two days. I have already devoured one book and am in the midst of reading five others! My room is now painted and we're trying to figure out what to do with my closet space, which needs to be remodeled badly! But of course the first thing my dad and I had to accomplish after painting was building Zoe a perch at my window, so she wouldn't have to stand on the bed to look outside. This cat is spoiled rotten! But she's worth it! :) This weekend we're going to focus on finding me new bedding and getting my built in drawers and cabinets cleared, painted and lined so I can start unpacking and moving some of my clothes and junk into my room. It's currently sitting in boxes and piles in the living room and etching away at my mom's sanity by the day. Kidding! But it is getting old having to rummage through everything to find something to wear. The good thing is a lot of it won't be coming upstairs, as I'm finally parting with clothes that I don't or can't wear. And maybe a couple pairs of shoes. Maybe.

All in all, I'm just chipping away at the whole process of unpacking and getting settled. I'm not really in a rush. Tomorrow I have a hair appointment (it's been almost 7 months *gasp*) with an old high school friend. I'm very excited to catch up with her! Our cats are practically engaged! Yeah - call me the crazy cat lady - but if you read my blog, you're going to hear about Zoe sometimes!

So far, so good today. I slept very soundly and Zoe stayed close to my hip all night. I think she knew something was different/wrong with me. No bleeding and no coughing in the night. I've done a vest treatment with coughing and haven't had any troubles yet with more bleeding.

Last night I experienced something strange. I was sound asleep when my cat, Zoe woke me up. She was laying on the back of my knees, something she normally doesn't do. Once I realized she was there I was overcome by the tell-tale signs of a very low blood sugar. I stumbled to the kitchen to test it and it was 36 - one of my all time lows! I don't know if I would have woken up as soon without Zoe - I'm convinced she sensed that something was wrong. No wonder she was so tuckered out today - she spent the night and morning keeping an eye on me. My little hero! :)
Zoe wanted to nap today

2 weeks of IV antibiotics will end tomorrow! I went back to the doctor today and my lung function is back up to 30% (although I'd like it to be higher, I do feel a lot better) and my capacity is up to 45%. Not the best improvement, but good enough for now.
Company while infusing

I'm headed off to Minneapolis for my 6 (but really 8) month check up to keep my status current on "the list" It's going to be a long two days, especially becase we check out tomorrow morning and don't fly out until 9pm so treatments will be few and hard to come by tomorrow. Plus now that they've made flying really really difficult for people with oxygen, liquid medications, disabilities, that it will surely feel like two days from hell. I just can't wait to get back already!


I had company during a morning treatment

Zoe, sitting on the bak of my chair